I'm Such A Failure
by DarkElements10
Summary: It was first time in his life Logan Mitchell failed at a test and looking at the grand scheme of things, he really didn't care. Logan/OC friendship, Request from TinyHandzRuleBD.


**I'm Such a Failure**

**By: Riley**

**Summary – **It was first time in his life Logan Mitchell failed at a test and looking at the grand scheme of things, he really didn't care. Logan/OC friendship, Request from TinyHandzRuleBD.

**A/N: **Note, this isn't my last story. I have one other one-shot request to finish and then I'll get to my last BTR story before leaving the fandom.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want to do this?"<p>

Logan Mitchell looked over at Carlos Garcia as he filled up his backpack. He had paused at the question and gave the Latino boy an incredulous look before finishing his movements. Once his backpack was completely filled, he zipped it up and started to mentally check everything was in its place.

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have registered to take the test and I wouldn't have packed up my backpack," Logan pointed out. He turned to face James Diamond and Kendall Knight, who were crowded into Kendall's and Logan's room as well, watching him curiously. "Don't you two have anything to say?" He gestured over towards Kendall. "Some sort of a rousing speech to fill your daily quota?"

Logan was presented with the upward twitch of Kendall's right eyebrow. "I don't have a daily quota of speeches," he defended himself. "I just like to make sure that people know their full potential." He cleared his throat then stretched out on his bed. "And you don't need me to give you some sort of speech. You're ready to take the MCAT, Logan, if you feel that you're ready for it." He nodded. "You're going to do great."

A grin graced Logan's lips. "Thanks." All three boys turned to James, who had been inspecting his nails. Noticing the silence he looked up and glanced back and forth between his friends. "Are we done talking about Logan now?" Kendall rolled his eyes, Logan shook his head, and Carlos frowned. "I'm kidding. You're going to ace it, dude."

"I hope," Logan agreed. He sucked in a deep breath and looked at his watch. There was still about two hours before he actually had to leave for the test but there was something else he had to do first, and he knew it was going to be what took up most of his time. "I have to get going now, actually. So I'm going to take the Big Time Rush mobile if that's alright."

"Not like we had any places we needed to go," James said sarcastically. "How do you know I didn't have some sort of a photo shoot or something I needed to go to?"

"Because Gustavo told you that the next time we have a photo shoo to make sure you don't show up or else you'll start to run the whole thing yourself," Logan reminded him.

Eyes narrowed, James sat up straight, pointing to the smartest member of Big Time Rush. "That artistic director had no idea what he was doing. I mean, he wanted us to wear plaid _and _flannel. At the same time! And inside a log cabin set. Who does that?"

Logan laughed as Kendall and Carlos both rolled their eyes as James went off into a spiel about what was and wasn't supposed to happen when there was a photo shoot being conducted. Especially when the band that was being directed in the photo shoots have had two chart topping albums out and were working on their third and where was the justice?

He had heard about it a lot, James complained talked about it enough. But there was plenty of time to think about it later, after he was done with the test that would determine the rest of his life. Not only was this going to determine how long it would take for him to get into medical school, but it was the beginning of everything. Being a doctor was all he had ever wanted out of life and all he ever worked for. As a kid he had dressed up as a doctor for Halloween more time than his mother could count, he excelled in math and science, and having completely decided what he wanted to do after a career day in middle school, he made as many connections as he could to get experience in the medical field as well as keeping his grades up as high as he could.

Nothing was going to get in the way of his dream of being a doctor. Not even the band. Realistically speaking he knew the band was going to have a shelf life. It was basic band-psychology. The genres of music that were popular on the radio cycled as the years went by. Pop music was huge in the late nineties and early two thousands then punk rock music came along, then adult contemporary, then pop music and boy bands came back around. It was only a matter of time until pop music and boy bands went back out and he was trying to plan ahead.

Besides, he knew Gustavo never wanted him in the first place and the only reason he was there was because of Kendall and as much as he wanted to be a doctor, he wouldn't trade any of his experiences for the world.

"And all I was saying that it wasn't the best image for us and I was right! But did I get a 'thank you'? I don't think so."

"As much as I'd love to hear you continue this rousing story, I really have to get going." Logan pulled his backpack onto his back and started to leave the room, but was suddenly entrapped in Carlos's crushing bear hug. Arms pinned to his sides, Logan was rocked back and forth as Carlos continued to hug him. He could actually hear his lung starting to scream as they were deprived of precious oxygen.

Face turning a bright scarlet, Logan struggled to pull his arms free of Carlos's grasp.

"Good luck," Carlos said, continuing to squeeze and rock his best friend back and forth. "You're going to do great."

"I'm not going to do squatt if you don't let me breathe," Logan gasped. A loud whoosh of air sucked into his mouth as he felt the extreme pressure released from his arms. He bent over, placing his hands on his knees, regulating his breathing. He even went as far as to check his pulse b placing his fingertips on his wrist and counting them.

"OK, now I think you're going overboard." Kendall stood up and placed his hand on Logan's shoulder and shook him. "Logan, you've got this. This is what you've been studying your entire life for. You're going to do great."

"Thanks, man." Logan lifted his hand and high-fived the blonde Big Time Rush member. "I'll see you guys later." He side-stepped Carlos, who reached out to give him another hug and left the room. Sliding through the sitting area of apartment 2J he grabbed the keys to the Big Time Rush mobile and headed out the door, taking the brown bag of lunch that Mrs. Knight handed him along the way.

"Good luck," she called as he passed her.

"Yeah," Katie chimed in. "Don't forget to write down your name, Hortense."

"Katie!"

Logan chuckled to himself as he left the apartment and closed the door behind him. Leaving the Palm Woods he placed his backpack into the passenger seat of the Big Time Rush mobile and pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the suburbs of Los Angeles as opposed to the next city over, where the test was being held. He drove for about twenty minutes before reaching a gated community and left his name with the security guard at the front gate, who allowed him inside.

He drove up the winding roads until he reached the familiar house had h been to many times before and parked in the driveway. Climbing out of the car he bounded up the front steps and to the front door, knocking loudly. Taking a step back he waited as heavy footsteps headed towards the front door and it was pulled open.

Riley Jackson-McGuire regarded him with surprise, leaning against the door. "Logan, hey, what's up?" She scratched the side of her neck. "Is something wrong?"

Logan grimaced. _Is this really what our friendship has turned to? Acting like nothing's wrong and only having the briefest of conversations with each other? _He took a deep breath and gave his friend-turned-acquaintance a smile. "How would you like to take the MCAT with me today?"

The surprised expression turned in one of amusement as she let out a snort. "I wouldn't," she said bluntly. "In fact, that's the last thing I want to do right now."

"Oh come on," Logan pressed. "It'll be fun."

"The words 'test' and 'fun' aren't synonymous for me, yeah?" Taking a step back, the Australian girl allowed Logan to enter the house. He closed the door behind him and followed her to the kitchen where a pan was sitting at the stove, filled with eggs and vegetables. "But it always seemed something you'd be interested in, mate, so why don't you take it and tell me how you feel after?"

Letting out a low sigh, Logan pulled out a stool that around the counter of the expansive kitchen and watched the girl cook her food. What was it that had really torn them apart? They had been best friends since the age of eight when they had both lived in Texas together. Then Riley and her family had gone back to their home of Australia and Logan had moved to Minnesota and met Kendall, James, and Carlos. Then after having gone out to California to start Big Time Rush they ran into each other again as her and her family's band were contracted to work with Big Time Rush as they were also working on their first American band after having massive success in Australia.

Things had gone pretty well between them at the beginning, not much had changed between them despite the physical abuse of her father that Riley had gone through. At least, he had thought things were going well. After her abusive foster father had been sent to jail and things were going well for them in the next year and all of a sudden she had blown up at him, saying that they never really were friends, she didn't want to be friends with him and didn't want to act like they were. He had been confused at first but understood where she was coming from, the two rarely hung out together, he had a girlfriend, or girlfriends as the case was, he was trying to figure out as he had never really dated before, working on his band, and…he could admit he had ignored her. But at the same time, she didn't really try to make time to hang out with him as well.

They had fought about it, and then she had delivered the final blow saying she didn't care that they never hung out, she just didn't want him to act like they were actually friends when the only thing they had in common was their ultimate dream of being a doctor. So they had gone their separate ways and despite their working together and their bands being best friends, they were at least civil to each other. And as time went on, Logan found himself missing her friendship and he wondered if she felt the same way and yet the two never approached the topic. Just gave a fleeting 'hi', 'how are you', and 'bye' when the time came.

In fact, when they were in the same room things could get a bit awkward as they did their best to stay civil, making it hard for conversations to continue. But they were nineteen now, not the same seventeen year olds that had grievances they never spoke about. And at eighteen years, turning nineteen as soon as it was September, and they needed to think of the future.

"This is the best time to take it," Logan insisted. "They only have this test about 33 times a year and this is the closet one they're going to have for a while before we start off on our promotions for our albums once we get them done." He clasped his hands together. "You've always wanted to be a pediatrician, Lan—Riles, don't tell me you've given up on that."

Lowering the flame underneath the skillet, Riley turned to face him. "No, I haven't given it up." She appeared offended. "I'm just not focusing on it as much as my music. That's my main focus right now."

"But wouldn't you want to take it to see how things turn out? You never know, you may pass and the test score are held for three years. You can apply for college when you feel that it's the right time or take classes online."

"Right, if I'm not attending uni back in Aus," she pointed out.

Logan let out a harsh sigh, rolling his eyes. He recognized that game she was playing, doing everything she could to change the subject and shoot him down enough times so that he would finally give up and leave her alone. She had always been good at that, as well as downplaying things that she didn't want to get too excited or anxious about, smoothly changing the subject enough so that he didn't remember something she was trying to avoid talking about in general, or being direct with her irritation that he would back off that way.

"This could be the chance that would have you to start the path on being a pediatrician," he reminded her. "And…remember the dream that we had? To have joint doctors' offices? You be the pediatrician and I'll be a surgeon?"

Cocking an eyebrow, eyes flashing, Riley turned back to the stove. "I'm surprised you even remember that," she remarked.

_Of course you're going to get a stone wall, Logan. Things haven't been really great between you two for a long time. You can't expect spending one day together—taking a test no less—would have you suddenly be best friends again. _He cleared his throat. "I can't forget it; it's something we had been planning for a long time." He waited for her to say something and when she continued her stony silence, he tried again. "It'll only take a few hours and—"

"Seriously, if you don't stop asking me, I'm going to punch you in the face."

The corner of Logan's mouth curled up in an amused smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. His chocolate brown eyes shifted as he watched the raven haired girl in front of him continue to bob her head along with the rock music that poured from a radio situated next to the stove top.

"You've made that threat many times before and you've never followed through with it yet," Logan pointed out.

"Actually I have, I just haven't done it in a long time," Riley murmured. She shifted her dark blue eyes over towards him and gave him a long look. "Something tells me that you're not going to take 'no' for an answer."

"Nope," Logan agreed cheerfully. "And it's not like you can say 'no' anyway." At her suspicious look he gave her the news. "I already paid for your registration for the test; they expect you to be there." Riley's mouth dropped open in outrage and as she started to protest, Logan got off of the stool and placed a hand over his mouth. "Too late, you already said you'd come with me and I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, like you just said. Now get your shoes on and get some ID and let's go!"

Rolling her eyes, Riley turned back to the stove and turned off the burner underneath her food. Picking up the skillet she walked it over to the dog dish and dumped the food inside before placing the skillet in the sink. Casting him another withering glance she left the kitchen and headed upstairs to her room for the aforementioned items and before Logan knew it, they were driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, heading towards the testing center.

They had arrived a few minutes before the exam started and after sitting down, they received their tests and got to work. Logan rested his chin in his hand as he stared at the questions that stared back at him. The test was meant for him to showcase his problem solving, critical thinking, written analysis, and knowledge of scientific concepts and principles. He found himself going through the test with ease, finding his confidence as the questions moved on and on. He filled in bubbles, wrote short essays, and had even gone above and beyond, giving his prediction as to what he thought the next medical advancement was going to be if not being the one to create it.

Finally, the test was finished and he handed his in to be calculated along with the others. The results wouldn't take long to be brought back to the students taking the test as the scoring system was a computer app being used by the proctor.

Having finished his test, Logan opened the paper bag that Mrs. Knight had given him and smiled when he saw the roast beef sandwich inside. Pulling out the sandwich he turned to face Riley who sat behind him, and held out half of the food item towards her. Her chin in her hand and her head angled so she could stare out the window beside her, it took him a few minutes of her waving it like a hot pastry beside her head before she noticed and turned towards him. She looked at him for a moment then gave a small smile, taking the food item from him.

"Thanks, Logan," she said.

"You're welcome, Riles," Logan replied. He took a bite of the sandwich and glanced towards the front of the room, watching as the proctors went over the scores, and then turned back to Riley. The rest of their classmates had decided to stay in their seats as well, eager to hear their results. "So how do you think you did?"

"I failed."

She said it so matter of fact, so deadpan and dull that he was taken aback for a minute. Blinking rapidly, he tried to focus on her answer then his eyebrows lowered. He gave his nervous, high-pitched giggle. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope."

"Riles, I'm sure you didn't fail," Logan reassured her. "You're way too smart to have failed at this. Science may not be your best subject, but when it comes to something you put your mind to, you always manage to do a good job."

"The only one that'd one a good job with this is you, Logan," Riley replied. "In fact, I remember you begging your mum for a stethoscope for Christmas. Which really came in handy when I broke your arm after trying to get out of the backyard with those Chihuahuas."

"Those Chihuahuas were vicious and you know it," Logan defended himself. "I have that scar on my arm, remember?"

"The one that looks like a bloody bug bite?"

"Just remember that you were the one that broke my arm, I can hold that over your head as long as you're alive." Logan smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. "And it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't shoved me over the fence and fallen on top of me."

Riley gave him a teasing smile. "We wouldn't have been in that backyard if you weren't so adamant about getting back that baseball that you had thrown over the fence with your disgraceful attempt at throwing a curveball." She lifted a finger. "Which hit me right in the face before ricocheting off and going over the fence."

"Right, whatever." Logan smiled back as Riley laughed. It was the most they had talked in the past couple of years and he was glad that it wasn't awkward. Of course it was at each other's expense but at least it was something. It had been part of their friendship when they were still friends, when they had met up again. In fact, Kendall, James, Carlos, Jo, Camille, and Stephanie were always asking for the next story of their youth. Camille especially as she wanted to know every embarrassing thing about her boyfriend.

"The test scores have been tallied and we'll be handing them back to you right now," one of the proctors said, her voice getting everyone's attention. Logan turned back around in his seat and waited as the tests were passed back to the students. He held his breath as his test was placed back on his desk face down.

He reached out to pick it up, and then quickly moved his hand back. _C'mon Logan, pick it up. See how well you did. You didn't come all the way here for nothing. _Once again he reached out to take the paper then brought his hand back. Around him he could hear cries of excitement and longed for his to join them, but he couldn't bear to turn the sheet of paper around. He twisted back in his seat and watched Riley looked over her own sheet of paper, her face blank. "So?" He asked. "How'd you do?"

Riley lifted her gaze towards him, eyes ablaze with fury, as she folded up the sheet of paper. "I failed!" She spat.

Logan's eyes widened. "W-what?" He watched as she leapt to her feet and started to leave the room, skirting her way around the students that had huddled together. Logan scrambled to grab his things and hurried after her. "I don't understand, how—"

"It's kind of hard not to fail when you don't write anything down," Riley replied over her shoulder. She suddenly stopped and turned back to face him. "God, I _told you_ that I didn't want to take this stupid test. But no! You had to go and bloody work your way to get me to come here!" Her upper lip curled into a sneer. "Just so you could go and make sure that you got the perfect sore you always do and go on and live _your merry life_!" She was staring to yell at this point, something he was also used to. Riley threw her hands into the air. "Well whoop de fucking do for you!" she hollered.

Logan, ignoring her outburst, looked at her seriously. "Why didn't you write anything down?"

Riley ignored him, but the longer the silence went on, she knew he wasn't going to let go of the situation. She sighed heavily, hand moving to her arm and starting to rub it, her nervous habit. Logan smiled a little, happy he was still able to recognized things like that. "Because…because I'm afraid," she admitted. Logan's confused expression continued. "I'm afraid of what would happen if I really did take the test." Bringing up a hand, she scratched her forehead, covering the dejected expression on her face. "I'm afraid of failing. Knowing that everything I want out of life isn't going to work out. Then I thought about all of those little kids that I wouldn't be able to help, the ones that may be going through the same things I have, I wouldn't be able to help them. That's why I wanted to get into pediatrics, to see the warning signs that people missed with me and my brothers and sisters. The possibility of not being able to do that…I froze and I couldn't write anything down."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

As Riley turned away from him, Logan looked down at the test in his hands. He stared at it for a long moment then took a deep breath, turning the paper around so that he could look at the score. He stared at the number that sat atop the page, then his heart dropped to his feet and he felt everything come crashing down around him.

"I…" he took a deep breath. "I failed too."

Riley snorted, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right."

"I'm being serious," he insisted. "I failed." He handed the piece of paper over to Riley. She eyed it then took it from him. Her eyes widened when she saw the number at the top of the page and she handed it back to him. "Wow. I actually failed."

Him.

Hortense Logan Mitchell had failed a test.

It was so shocking, so ridiculous, so…funny.

The first test he had ever failed in his entire life, the most important one, and he had failed.

A slow smile started to worm its way onto his face and he soon found himself laughing. And as he continued to laugh hysterically, Riley glared at him, silently demanding to know what was so funny. And the look caused Logan to catch his breath and start laughing even harder.

"I'm sorry," he apologized to her. "It's just…so funny. I think we're the only two people in the world that's failed this test so badly. You, who's wanted this ever since you were a kid and me who has dedicated my whole entire life—even almost missing out on working in a band—to become a doctor. _We _were the ones that failed." He walked over to a bench that rested against the wall and sat down, dropping the test to the floor. "I'm sure at some point I'm going to start crying but it's just so funny."

"You've got a warped sense of humor," Riley remarked.

"Coming from the girl that thought it was hysterical to think up many different ways of murdering Hawk and making his body disappear when he stole our songs," Logan reminded her.

"It's part of my charm. And it would've worked, boofhead," Riley said. "If some people weren't so afraid to go to jail." Her statement caused the two of them to laugh again and she smoothed her hair back out of her face. "I missed this, you know," She said after a minute.

"What? Me warning you to not do illegal things so you don't make up the statistics of ending up in jail?" Logan shook his head. "And I thought I needed to get new friends apart from Kendall, James, and Carlos. You guys are just as bad." He let out a cry of pain when Riley reached out and punched him on the shoulder then flicked her head, her red strand of hair shifting out of her eyes. _I didn't really miss that._

"No," she contradicted. "I miss hanging out like this."

Logan sucked in a deep breath through his nose. They were treading in dangerous territory now and the only way to get through it was to talk about it. "So why didn't you want to be friends anymore?"

Propping her foot up on the edge of the bench, Riley rested her arms on her upraised knee. "It's like I said. We had absolutely nothing in common, we never hung out, and I hated the fact that you acted like we were super best friends when you and I both knew it was a lie. And I was angry because you changed. All you cared about at that point was who you were going to go out with and what was going wrong in your relationship. Really if you weren't just making out with Camille or talking about her it was like you couldn't function." She held up a hand. "But I don't want to get into all of that again."

"God forbid." Logan laughed as Riley whacked him on the arm once more. He tilted his head, looking at her. "Do you think we could start again?" He asked her, gently. "But actually be friends this time." He motioned to his paper as it rested on the floor. "We have something else in common with failing now."

Riley let out a sympathetic sigh, patting him on the shoulder. "Welcome to the dark side, mate. Where failing is something that we all become used to at one point or another, yeah?" Her eyes shifted to the start tatooed on the back of her left hand, in between her thumb and index finger. Logan and her twin sister had the same tattoos as they had all gotten them together. (In fact, James, Carlos, and Kendall didn't believe he had gotten a tattoo until he showed it to them). "I mean, we got these for a reason, but I guess the curse of having a matching tattoo came true for us." She leaned forward, resting her cheek against her upraised knee and smiled. "I'd like that. To be friends again." She paused. "Even though we weren't talking...I still really cared about you, Logie."

He knew what she wasn't saying and decided to let her off the hook. "I missed you, too, Landy." Logan rubbed his arm. "I didn't miss your punches."

"No one does, yeah?" Chuckling, Riley reached over and picked up his test paper. She waved it around in front f his face. "So how are you going to tell the others that you failed? You know Carlos and James are never going to let you live it down."

Logan shrugged. "What about you?" He turned the tables back on her, watching as her face fell into an expression of depression.

"I'll be fine," she said.

And he still knew her well enough to know that she wasn't going to be fine. She was going to be upset about the test for a long time, probably longer than she was going to admit it. Still, he knew getting her to admit it wasn't going to help.

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "You will be." He stood up and took her hand, pulling her up as well. "C'mon, let's get some ice cream or something. Root Beer floats of course."

Beaming, Riley looped her arm through his. "You remembered!"

Logan matched her smile, his dimple appearing in his cheek. "How could I forget?"

* * *

><p><strong>THE END<strong>


End file.
